This Cant be Right?
by Dark Dragon 4x4
Summary: Invader Zim gets his letter to Hogwarts and chaos ensures, him being an alien will only make things much harder then they need to be for harry and his friends. R&R
1. The letter that started it all

**Disclaimer – I do not own harry potter or Invader Zim!**

**Hey guys ^^ I am not dead so you know :P just VERY busy. I think i know what house Zim will be in, but tell me in your review,**

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><p>Zim was busy in his lab when Gir burst though the door making air plane nosies, in his hands, a brown barn owl "What is it Gir?" Zim snapped, annoyed to have been interrupted. "Owl has mail for you master" gir said then added "And i have waffles!" Zim grumbled. "And you let that filth into our base?" Zim yelled Gir nodded, the owl ruffled up its feathers, seeming like it had understanding the insult.<p>

Zim was about to grab the owl when he say it was sticking out its left leg, it had a letter on it. "The humans are crazy then i thought" Zim grumbled while he got the letter, he opened it without looking then looked Gir who was trying to eat the owl "Gir!" Gir ignored him, Zim sighed then looked down at his letter.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL _of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,_

Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizar_ds)_

_Dear Zim,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

_. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

_Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31._

_Yours sincerely_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Deputy Headmistress_

Zim stared at the letter then grabbed the one that was underneath it, it had the list on it.

_UNIFORM_

_First-year students will require:_

_1. Three sets of plain work robes (black) 2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear 3. One pair of protective gloves ( hide or similar) 4. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)_

_Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags._

_COURSE BOOKS_

_All students should have a copy of each of the following:_

_(Grade 1)_

_by Miranda Goshawk_

_A History of Magic_

_by Bathilda Bagshot_

_Magical Theory_

_by Adalbert Waffling_

_A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_

_by Emeric Switch_

_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_

_by Phyllida Spore_

_Magical Drafts and Potions_

_by Arsenius Jigger_

_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_

_by Newt Scamander_

_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_

_by Quentin Trimble_

_OTHER EQUIPMENT_

_1 wand 1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2) 1 set glass or crystal phials 1 telescope 1 set brass scales_

_Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad._

_PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS_

_ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK_

_Yours sincerely,_

_Lucinda Thomsonicle-Pocus_

_Chief Attendant of Witchcraft Provisions_

"Computer! Look up this Hoog-wartsss" Zim yelled, the computer answered with a "No data found" "You have failed me!" Zim yelled, the computer sighed. "I like waffles!" Gir said in his randomness. "Hmm this hogwarts could be a good chance to see humansss. But owl? The mighty Zim will not go so low!" seeing no other way he used the owl that sent him his letter to send his response. "Now where does Zim get the items reacquired...I know! Zim caught the owl before it left and put a tracking chip in the owl (it did not like it) and sent it off. He laughed then decided to call the tallest to tell them his newest plan.

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><p><strong>Pretty basic huh? Well no update tell i get reviews ^^<strong>

**I AM GENIUS!**


	2. The sorting

**Disclaimer – I do not own harry potter or Invader Zim!**

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><p>The tallest listened to Zim as he told them about his plan to use 'magic' to blow things up. "How is that possible?" red asked, magic hadhas never excited in Irken history, let along irken blood. Zim shrugged his shoulders. Purple was busy eating a bag of 'Galactic Crunches'. "Well whatever Zim, if it works be sure to let us know" Red finished then cut off, this was one of the few times Zim have uncovered something worth their time and he wanted to be sure that Zim didn't mess things up.

"Computer! What is looonden?" Zim yelled, after a while the computer answered "A place on earth" "Get me a map!" the mighty Zim demanded, out of his alien printer popped a map with all of earth on it. "Gir! Prepare the ship!" Girs eyes went red "Yes sir" then his eyes went back to blue and he skipped away.

Well class, today Zim is transferring away, any words? They will be the last time he hear from you and the last time i want you to speak!" Dib raised his hands "Going back to your home planet, huh Zim?" he said then added a bunch of 'huh's "No Dib-stink, im going to a new skool for more better then this filth" he said then turned and walked away. "I will find out your plan Zim, just you wait!" Dib yelled

Late at night, Zim got his space ship ready, map and mooney all set, with gir in the backseat. "Now Gir, I want you just to sit and do nothing" "OOKIE-dOOKIE!" Gir yelled, Zim face palmed then took off.

Hours later he was there, he had taken a few wrongs turns, blaming it on the map of coarse, but now he faced a new problem, finding a place to park. Cursing his map he speed around the place, finding a empty spot between 2 houses he landed, repeating what he did back at the old base, he drew his house and thew the item to the ground, it was halfway done when '"What is going on?" he turned and saw a cop. "I'm just moving in, im perfectly normal! Just look at my neck!" Zim said, raising his head so the cop could see his neck. "But the hous-" "its Canadian!" the cop looked at Zim then at the house – it was done- 'Well i quess so..." he turned and left. "That was close...Gir! Into the base!"

"Tomorrow we go SHOPING!" Gir clapped and Zim got his earth mooney out. He had about 20 bucks on him. Zim spent the rest of the night cleaning out germs...

Zim had his contacts and wig on and the list clutched in his hands. Gir was in his dog suit, it appeared the humans here were a but smarter then the other ones but not by much. "Now gir, we need a wand. -" Zim didn;t finish, a kid had walked up to them, he was tall and skinny, he wore glasses and had untidy hair, he had a scar on his forehead. "You going to Hogwarts?" he asked "Yes" zim answered flatly "Do you know how to get there?" "Nope..." Zim said, this human was getting tiresome. "Well you can follow us if you need help" he said..wait...us? Zim looked behind the kid and saw a giant! He screamed and jumped back. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to scare you" said the giant "What? The mighty Zim was not scared...just surprised!" The giant laughed. "Come on Harry. We need to get going" Harry waved good-bye and left, seeing no other way zim caught up to them and said "Can I come with you?" Sure, the names Hagrid by the way" the giant said 'Zim"

At diagan ally, things were busy and the streets packed, Zim didn't like this many people by him, gir though was loving it. "Hagrid. I cant afford any of these, i don't have any money" Harry said. "You don't think your parents left you with nothing did you?" Harry was surprised. "Your moneys at gringotts, safest place there is, except maybe hogwarts" "Hey hagrid, Zim is wondering wither he can exchange normal money for magic money?" "I think so" was hagrid's answer.

Turns out you could. Zim had 2 galleon, 6 sickles instead of $20, Zim first was out-raged thinking he was ripped, after Hagrid explained, Zim was still mad but not out-raged. Harry's vault was stacked with Galleons and sickles, and knuts. Harry walked away with a pocket fulls of galleons leaving a jealous Zim to follow. Finally it was Hagrid's vault, inside was something wrapped in a package, Hagrid has asked for Harry and Zim to not tell anyone about it. Harry agreed and so did Zim after getting a look from harry.

At the robes shop Harry and Zim were put onto stools beside a blond-headed kid. "Why is your skin green?" the kid said pointing at Zim "Skin condition" Zim said looking down, he had told the same thing to harry and hagrid. "Well whatever...you guys going to hogwarts right?" "Yeah" said harry. Zim did not like this kid one bit. "I don't think they should let the other kind in. You know, They haven't been brought up to our ways..anyway, whats your surname?" the kid asked but then the person suiting harry was done. 'Meet you outside Zim" harry said, leaving Zim with the stinky kid. "My, your the shortest person i have ever meet!" said the person getting Zims robs. "Don t you dare insult the mighty Zim!" "Sorry!" she said, she turned to get more robs. "So, whats your last name?" asked the stinky kid. "Why should the mighty Zim tell a filth like you?" "How dare you!" Zim was about to punch him when the stinky kids person told them he was done. After a while, they found Robs short enough for Zim. "That toke a while" said Harry who was having ice cream, "Here you go." Hagrid gave Zim a ice cream cone then turned to eat his. Zim took a lick. "Whoa! That's a cool looking tongue you got!" Harry said. "Thanks" The group walked for a while, getting everything they needed, Harry had gotten a owl and Zim had just edited Gir's costume to make it look like a cat.

'All we need now is a wand" Harry said after looking at the list 'You want Ollivanders! Best wand makers i ever seen" When they entered the shop they looked around, it was filled with box's! After a while a man came up, he had grey hair and his eyes seemed to stare through you. "I was wondering when i would see you Mr. Potter, it seems just yesterday your parents were here buying their first wand...Its the wand who chooses the wizard." he said, leading Harry and Zim behind the counter. "How about this one?" he said handing a wand to Harry, who waved it..nothing "OK...maybe this one" Nothing again...After a while of walking he stopped "I wonder..." He grabbed a box and took a wand out out "11, Phoenix feather" handing the wand to Harry, he took a step back and watched. With a wave the wand shot out purple sparks "Interesting, i remember every wand i sold, and it just so happens when you are destined for this wand, its brother gave you that scar..." he said pointing at Harrys forehead.

It was Zim's turn after a while they found his wand, 10, oak with a Thestral tail hair core, The man selling the wands was curious with this but said nothing about it. It had cost a bit, Zim had run out of money so Harry had to bail him out. Zim had mumbled a thanks. Now all they had to do was wait.

Zim was at the train station with his stuff packed and Gir walking beside him "Do they have tacos?" "No gir." "waffles?" "No" it went on for a while. Finally they found platform nine. Zim looked at his ticket, it had come in the mail 2 days ago. "Plat form 9 and 3 quarters...They mock the mighty Zim!" Zim yelled, earning himself a few looks "I mean...I am a perfectly normal human!" Zim spent a half an hour looking but to no luck "Stupid humans!" "Where are the waffles?" Zim was about to snap at Gir when "Hey Zim!" Zim looked up and saw Harry. "Have any idea where the platform is? The people who work here think im joking" Zim shook his head "This place is full of muggles!" Zim and harry turned their heads to the source of the sound "I think they know, come on!" Said harry, pushing his cart to follow them. Zim sighed then followed with Gir trailing.

Zim rubbed his contacts, the kid just walked through the staff. Harry couldn't believe it either. They watched the second of the head haired guys go through, same result. It was the last kids turn then Harry spoke up. "Excuse me!, how do i -" the women finished the sentence "Get onto the platform" Harry and Zim nodded. "Don t worry, its Ron's first time too" Zim looked at the kid, he was a little shorter then harry. He had red hair, freckles, and a smug on his nose. "Just walk through, its better to run if your nervous" Harry nodded then ran, he went through. Zim though didn't want to do it. It defied everything he was taught!

"Come on, not that hard" said the women. Zim gulped, if he crashed that would hurt and he did not like pain. Seeing no other option he walked over to it and put his hand on it, it went through! He pushed his cart in, then slowly walked in.

When Zim opened his eyes he saw a bunch of people. "What took you so long?" asked Harry who had been waiting for him. "Nothing" Zim said, not willing to say he was scared "Well come on! Dont want to have all the rooms full now do we?" "Umm" Zim didn't have time to answer, because Harry grabbed him with his right arm and his cart with his left and headed toward the train, at the last second zim grabbed his cart and started yelling at Harry to let go of him.

It took a while but they finally found room that was not full but infact empty. They sat in silence for a while when the door opened and Ron stepped in. "Mind if i join you? All the others are full." Harry nodded. When Ron sat down he looked at Zim "Why is your-" "Skin condition" Zim said before Ron could finish. The train started and they were off. "Weee!" Yelled Gir from beside Zim.

Harry and Ron had a conversation going on. Once in a while Zim said something or answered a question. The trolly came up. "Want something form the trolly dears?" "No thanks, im good" said ron, holding up a sandwich, by the look of his face, you could tell he didn't like it. "We'll take the lot" Harry cried out, holding up a bunch of galleons.

Zim watched Harry and Ron eat, Harry had offered some of the food to Zim, who turned it down untell Ron said "Thats not normal" "What? Zim is normal!" he said, snatching a chocolate frog. He opened it up and saw the frog, he grabbed it and opened his mouth up. He closed his eyes and ate, it was disgusting! Trying not to barf he looked at the card that was in the package. It showed a witch with curly blond hair "Thats Miss. Dralena, she discovered that unicorns spit could heal mayjour injuries. Zim nodded...what was a unicorn?

A little while latter the door opened. A girl with buck teeth and bushy brown hair opened the door "Have you seen a toad? A boy named Neville lost one" "I did!" Gir started waving his 'paw' "I ate it! It was yummy!" The girl gasped. "A talking cat?" Zim felt a bit of panic. "Those are really rare! Who does he belong too?" Ron pointed at Zim. "Oh my? Did a potion go wrong?" she asked looking at his green skin. "No...its a skin condation" he said looking down 'Oh...sorry about that" she said then looked at Gir "You ate the toad?" "Yes i did!" he said! She sighed the turned to tell Neville the bad news

At Hogwarts, Zim got off the train with Harry. Seemed he was going to be stuck with him. Zim shuddered as he thought of keef. "First years pver hear, first years!" Zim turned toward the voice and saw Hagrid. Then he saw the water and the boats. Water, just great, he forgot to soak in paste! He carefully got into a boat with harry and ron then they set sail

Zim jumped off the boat as soon as it docked. "You scared of water or something?" asked ron "No! The mighty Zim fears nothing!" Ron shrugged his shoulders and headed into the castle. A women came up to them with a stern face. "Great, another ..." Zim whispered under his breath. She led them to a room to tall to see the roof, she opened her mouth and started talking, Zim ignored her though, and instead was looking at the celing. He caught the last part though 'sorting'. The teacher turned and left. "Hey, what does she mean by soorting?" zim asked harry."We are going to get a team you could say" Harry whispered. No sonner then he finished that the stinky-boy walked up. "So its true, Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts." Zim stared at the stink-boy. "My names Malfroy, Draco Malfroy" Ron chuckled "Think my names funny so you? No need to think about who you are, Red hair, freckles, and hand me down robes, you must be a weasly" that shut up ron. Draco then turned to look at Zim "And this shorty, green skin and creepy eyes, must be a mudblood" Zim almost took out his spider-legs but stopped at the last moment "Stinky filth!" Zim spat

Draco opened his mouth but was stopped when the other entered. "It is time"

They all lined up. Their were 4 long tables, each with kids sitting at them, upfront near the teachers was a chair and on the chair was a old beaten down hat. The old man up front opened with mouth and began to talk, Zim once again ignored him. When the old man was done the hat began...much to everyones surprise

_Oh you may not think I'm pretty,  
>But don't judge on what you see,<br>I'll eat myself if you can find  
>A smarter hat than me.<em>

You can keep your bowlers black,  
>Your top hats sleek and tall,<br>For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat  
>And I can cap them all.<p>

There's nothing hidden in your head  
>The Sorting Hat can't see,<br>So try me on and I will tell you  
>Where you ought to be.<p>

You might belong in Gryffindor,  
>Where dwell the brave at heart,<br>Their daring, nerve, and chivalry  
>Set Gryffindors apart;<p>

You might belong in Hufflepuff,  
>Where they are just and loyal,<br>Those patient Hufflepuffs are true  
>And unafraid of toil;<p>

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,  
>if you've a ready mind,<br>Where those of wit and learning,  
>Will always find their kind;<p>

Or perhaps in Slytherin  
>You'll make your real friends,<br>Those cunning folks use any means  
>To achieve their ends.<p>

So put me on! Don't be afraid!  
>And don't get in a flap!<br>You're in safe hands (though I have none)  
>For I'm a Thinking Cap!<p>

Zim stared at the hat as if it was smart gir. Then the miss bitters spoke up. "When i call you up, come and sit and put the hat on, it will sort you"

Zim watched for a while, Harry, Ron, and the brown haired girl were Gryffindor, the stinky-boy was slytherin, he was last. 'Zim" people looked at him funny. "Why does he have green skin and no last name?" he could hear mumbles from the crowd, he sat and put the hat on, almost at once he could hear a voice in his head

_So, your a alien?_

What!

_Like i said, theres nothing in here i cant see_

Tell anyone and i will set you on flames

_You try that..anyway lets see, brave, but self-centered, your rather smart but due to your problem of not accepting things you dont like people take you for dumb_

How dare you!

_Hufflepuff is out, and also Ravenclaw..its between Gryffindor and Slytherin_

Just put me in the better one

_Sigh what ever, _

"GRYFFINDOR!"

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><p><strong>What do you guys think? Did i make the right choice?<strong>

**No update tell reviews!**


	3. I think i perfer online trolls

**I do not own invader Zim or Harry potter!**

**Thanks Joe ^^**

**And Invader Fang, i thought about i for a while, re-watching episodes and such, it was a close call but i decided for the sake of the story that Zim should be in the same House as Harry**

**I'm kind of stuck here, not sure what to do yet :P sorry if there's mistakes, i haven't read the books in a while**

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><p>At the feast Zim sat beside Harry and Ron, when the food came up everyone digged in except Zim, who eyed the human food with disgust, Gir was digging in to a plate of waffles. Zim wasn't sure if 'pets' were allowed at the table but no one said anything so he let gir do his thing<p>

"Hey Zim?"

"What human!"

"Why do you always call us Humans? Why not just What? Or where?"

Zim stared at Ron for a few seconds then said

"YOU LIE!"

It was Rons turn to stare

"Were you dropped on your head as a baby?"

"filthy human worm-baby, The mighty Zim was never dropped!"

"Too bad, that would explain a lot"

Before Zim could comment, Percy called the first years up for a tour

After the whole tour, they got to a picture of a fat lady "Password?" "Caput Draconis" Percy stated, the lady swung open, Zim and the other stepped in, it was a rather nice room, Two spiral stair cases on either side, there was one of those pin boards, a fireplace, and some comfy looking furniture. "Boys to the left, girls to the right" Zim and the rest went up the boys stairs. Zim stopped dead in his tracks when he say he had to share the same room with humans. Gir caught up with him and yelled out "I got dibs on the window!" The little robot ran over to the window, and jumped on the ledge. Zim looked at the beds. The only thing for privacy was a curtain. "Primitive items!" Zim yelled, earning more looks. Grumbling he went over and picked a bed,

Contacts hurt after a while of wearing them straight and wigs start to itch. After putting his stuff away he ran to the bathroom, ran in a stall then took off his disguise. Rubbing his eyes. He looked around. Was this the only place he could have no disguise? Cursing the humans he put the wig and contacts back on and left.

It had been a day and lessons had started, Harry had asked Zim if he wanted to help them find their way to class. Seeing how he was lost too he joined. The stairs were chaos! He almost took out his spider legs to stay on balance, But that ghost, peeves, he was carnage! He dumped a bucket of water on the 3, Ron and Harry were just grumpy about being wet but Zim was screaming and running in circles. Peeves watched to make sure Zim didn't die, as soon as he saw that the green kid was alright he burst out laughing. "What was that about?" Harry asked? "Skin condition" Answered zim looking down

Charms class was easy enough, make the feather float. Zim found this rather easy, and so did the bushy hair kid, they were the only 2 that got it. Transfiguration was terrible. Only the bushy hair kid could turn her quill into a needle. Next was potions...

Zim hated the dungeons, cold,wet, and creepy, 3 things Irkens hated. Not to mention the teacher was a greasy haired man. He started to speak but Zim only heard 'Blah blah blah, doom, blah blah' the teacher then read down the attendance, stopping when he reached Harry potters name "Harry potter, our new celebrity" Snape then asked Harry a bunch of questions, him getting them all wrong. "Clearly fame isn't everything..." he then continued down the list, seeing Zims name he looked up "Last name?" Zim shrugged his shoulders. Snape sneered. "And what is with your sickly coloured skin?" "Skin condition" Snape looked like he didn't believe him but didn't press on the subject.

Zim did rather well in potions too. When nevilles potion melted his caldron, snape snapped at Ron and Harry, also Zim because he was on the other side of Neville. "Grease-teacher, i fail to understand how this is Zims fault?" Zim said while looking at Snape. Zim heard a few gasps but didn't care, he wasn't going to be blamed for the foolish human's mistake.

"10 points from gryffindor and detention for Zim"

After class Ron and Harry caught up with Zim. "Could have been worse" Harry said trying to cheer Zim up. "The mighty Zim will get revenge! Zim always has and always will!"

Flying lessons. Zim hated it. He stared at the broom with distaste. Why would he need this stick when he had a spaceship 2x as fast as this thing? "Alright class, stand on the left side of your broom and say up" Zim said up...nothing, he looked at Harry, who had gotten it on his first try.

"Up,UP, UP!" nothing. "Rise for the mighty Zim or Zim will burn you then melt you then have Gir eat you!" That did the trick. Zim caught the broom as it speed shot into the air. After the whole class did it the teacher stepped forward, telling them what to do. "ON the count of 3 you will jump then come back down. 1...2..-" "OMG im going to die!" yelled Neville as he rose on the 2 instead of 3 "Neville! Come down this moment!" "I cant!" he yelled as he rose higher. Zim growing tried of this boy picked up a rock and threw it at nevilles head. Knocking him unconscious. Luckily no one saw who throw it. The teacher ran over to Neville "A broken wrist...no ones to leave the ground tell i get back, if they do they will out of hogwarts faster then you can say broomstick"

The stinky-boy went over and picked something up. Stupid humans, always attracted to shinys. "Give it her Malfroy" Harry said to Draco "I don't think i will, i think instead i will leave it some where for neville to find" up went stinky then harry. Zim sat on the ground to watch as the whole seen unfolded.

To cut the time, lets say just say Stinky-boy got off free and Harry got a place on the team. Zim had gotten a good laugh and it was win win...Ron was giving Harry his congrats so Ron was taking it well. Time for supper. Zim just sat and watched the worm-babys eat. "Aren't you hunger?" Ron asked "Zim does not feel this hunger" stated Zim, right after his 'stomach' growled. "You sure?" Zim cursed his food digestive . He grabbed a turkey leg and took a small bite. Disgusting. After the meal the mail came. Owls came through the windows and dropped letters. Just imaging Harrys surprise when a package was dropped for him. Oh great, a stick.

The days dragged by. Each like the other. Then it was Halloween...

"CANDY ZOMBIES ARE COMING! THEY WANT CANDY SWEETS AND BRAINS!"

Zim yelled as he ran down the halls. Filch appeared out of no where and yelled at Zim to stop yelling. This was a bad idea, zim yelled that Filch was a candy zombie, slapped him, then ran in terror.

"How was it?" asked Harry as Zim got out detention with snape "Dreadful" Zim said. He had to pick maggots out of a rotting frog then put them in a jar, worse yet, he had to take of his black gloves. He shuddered. "Well look on the bright side, at least Filch's cant be worse!" Ron chirped in. Boy could he be more wrong?

By the end of it Zim was screaming! He had to clean Filchs toe nails...when he got out he found that Ron had made fun of bushy haired girl and she heard.

The Halloween feast was doom, Zim kept looking over his shoulder for candy zombies. Things only got worse when Quirrell burst in. "Troll! Troll in the dungeon!" He then stopped running "Just thought you might want to know" then he fainted. Panic erupted. Kids scream. Zim just sat and stared ahead. "SILENCE!" the old man screamed. He then ordered all the kids to their rooms. " Hermione!" said harry, "Come on guys, we got to warn her!" The Harry, Ron, and zim (He was dragged) were off to be heroes

"The trolls in the girls bathroom" whispered Harry. "Oh well, we tried" said Zim who turned to leave. "Not so fast, we got to save heromine!" Zim sighed then entered the bathroom. The troll was trying to smash Hermione, she was hiding. "Hey Troll face!" screamed Harry. The troll turned. "Thats not a troll!" Zim yelled. "Of coarse it is!" Ron snapped. "But a troll is smiling with its chin out and-" Zim didn't finish, the troll hit him, sending him across the room, Harry went to stop the troll while Ron was just staring at Zim. Zim saw why...his left eye contact lay on the floor and his wig was tipped showing his right antenna. Zim quickly straighten his wig, grabbed his contact, and put it on. Ron was stuttering "What are yyy" 'Silence! I am normal!" Zim yelled, "Hey guys! A little help!" Harry yelled! The troll had him in his left arm, he tried swinging his club at harry who lifted at the last second. "Oh right..." Ron and Zim got their wands out. Ron did the lifting charm, so the club stayed in the air While the troll tried to get its club back, Zim cast a lifting charm so harry was pulled out of the trolls grasp and put safety on the ground. Ron dropped the club on the trolls head, knocking the poor thing unconscious.

"You saved me!" Hermione yelled as she got up. As Harry and Ron went over to Hermione Zim went over to the troll, making sure that no one was watching he took out 1 spider leg, and stabbed the thing tell it was dead. He took the spider-leg back into his Pak and joined the 3. "thanks" Hermione stuttered. "No prob" Ron said but he was looking at Zim, clearly remembering that scene. A few seconds later, Snape, Quirrell, and McGonagall burst through the door

"What? What happened?" McGonagall asked, Harry opened his mouth to speak when

"It was my fault" Hermione said. "?" "I read a lot about trolls and thought i could beat it, if it wasn't for Harry,Ron, and Zim...i would be dead" Snape sneered. "10 points shall be taken from gryffindor," Zim sighed. "50 points, shall be added for sheer dumb luck" McGonagall finished, she turned and left. "I'm ever so gl glad that your ok" Quirrell said and Snape just sneered. "Thanks" Harry said.

At the Gryffindor common room Harry rounded up Hermione, Ron, and Zim. "Did you guys see snape?" "You mean Greasy-guy?" Zim asked. "Yeah, well did you see that his robes had blood on it and he was limping?" Zim shook his head, he was to busy looking at their faces. "So?" asked Ron who was watching Zim. "I think theirs something that Snape wants...we are going to follow him!"

"What! are you crazy? Going out after hours?" Hermione whispered. Zim though loved it. A little bit of adventure is just what he needed. "I'm up for it" Ron said. Hermione sighed then agreed to stop them from getting killed. "So its settled, tonight we follow snape!"

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><p><strong>Seems Ron is close to finding out about Zim :O this cant be good,<strong>

**No update tell reviews! ^^**


	4. You wish you were this cool!

**Disclaimer- I do not own Harry potter or Invader Zim!**

**Thanks Invader Makayla ^^**

**Will try Megamindlover ^^ thanks**

**Thats good to hear darkdeamongirl :P I was trying my best ^^**

**Voldy the Irken thanks ^^ I don't want to rush Voldemort, but he WILL be in it ^^**

**Thanks to all my readers! This has become me most popular story so far! Updates may be a little slower now, i didn't know what to do with this chapter so sorry if it sucks xD**

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><p>Zim was shook awake from his pretend sleep by Harry. "Come on!" Harry then ran to wake Ron, Zim got up and headed toward the common room with the other 2. Hermione was waiting for them. "About time you got here, lights out was an hour ago". "Sorry" said Harry the 4 looked around to make sure that no one was watching then left.<p>

"Filthy human! Stop staring at the mighty Zim!" Zim whispered to ron who was watching Zim like a hawk. "I remember that scene in the bathroom" he whispered. "YOU LIE!" Zim yelled "Zim!" Hermione whispered, too late. "Who goes there?" Filch yelled. "It Filch! Run!" and they did, right into the 3rd floor. "Quick through that door!" yelled ron. "Its locked!" Harry said in a tone of panic. "Oh move" Hermione said, casting a spell to unlock the door. "Quickly!" Zim didn't need to be told twice. In they were and screamed they did. A big black dog stood there, what else? This dog and 3 giant heads! Zims scream was the loudest.

They burst out the door. "What is that thing doing in Hogwarts?" "The mighty Zim does not care as long as it doesn't try to eat him!" Zim said quickly. "Less talk. More moving!" Hermione said while trying to catch her breath. "Quick! To the Gryffindor tower!"

The fat lady was rather upset about being awoken so late. Inside Hermione turned to face the boys "Did you see what it was standing on?" "No sorry i was looking at its heads! Heads! With a s!" Ron almost yelled. "Well, it was standing on a door" Harry perked up "Thats it!" "Whats it?" ron asked. "Thats what snape wants! The dog is why he was limping and bleeding!" Zim felt out of place here. "So worm-babys, im off to bed..." "See ya Zim!" Harry called out.

"Get up!" Someone was shaken Zim. "Don't touch me human-filch!" Zim hissed. "Tell me what you are!" Zim looked up and saw Ron. "Silence! I am normal!"

"Oh yeah? Explain your red eyes and antenna!"

"Pink eye"

"what about your antenna?"

"YOU LIE!"

"I will be watching you Zim, make a mistake and i will know!"

Zim growled at the filth in front of him when Harry entered the room. "What going on?" Ron opened his mouth to respond when Zim stepped in "Nothing but normal stuff!" Ron turned to face Zim, if looks could kill Zim would be stone dead. "Sure...any way, meet me and Hermione in the library after class's" Ron nodded and Zim shrugged, seemed he was stuck in this little group.

At the library the 4 found a table and sat. "Snape is after what ever that dog is guarding!" harry whispered. "Thats foolish, why would snape be after whatever?" "I saw him speaking to Quirrell about loyalty! He may be working for Voldemort!" "Thats crazy!" Ron said. "Shh" the librarian hushed as she came to the table out of no where, Zim could swear he heard a rattling sound. "Sorry" Hermione said in a hushed voice. "That wouldn't make any sense, He is a teacher, he wouldn't be working here if he was a death eater" Harry looked at ron then Zim who both shrugged their shoulders. "I still don't trust him"

A few days later, Gryffindor's first Quidditch match was at hand, Harry was the seeker. The humans thought the game fun, Zim thought it was stupid, riding around on sticks, it was plain stupid. Zim was walking towards the field when "I hope they have waffles!" Gir yelled from his cat costume. "Gir! What are you doing here?" "I got board" he said simply then ran in circles around Zim. "Gir -" Zim began but stopped when he say stinky-boy walk up to him. "I didn't forget about you calling me filch Mud-blood" Zim didn't know what Mudblood meant but the tone that stinky-boy was using, he knew it was bad. "Zim is not a mud-blood, Zim is Zim! Human worm-baby!" Zim growled "oh? Really now? I highly doubt that freak" that did it. No matter how short Zim is he could deliver a punch when he wanted too. Draco fell onto the ground, he had gotten a nose bleed. "You flichy little mudblood!" Draco rawred then swung out his wand, Zim did the same. Zim cast a dis-arming spell, sending Draco's wand flying, smirking zim turned to leave, calling out one more word before he left "Flitch"

The game was quit good for a stupid game, Harry had caught the snitch with his mouth. Still it was quit a game. But there was some bad news, Mid-game Harrys broom went crazy, only stopping when Hermione set Snapes cape on fire. Harry and Hermione laughed when Zim told them about the fight, Ron chuckled but was eyeing Zim with a look of distaste. Zim shrugged, he didn't know what he was so he was safe...for now.

The days passed in flash, when ever Draco was around, he pointed at his skin and in response Zim pointed at his left cheek, the place where Zim had punched Draco, the response was always the same, Draco storming off. Harry had joined in the act, this making it only funnier, the only thing bugging zim besides the homework was Harrys talks about Snape and the door. It got annoying after a while. "He was jinxing my broom!" Harry would keep saying, worse yet! Ron and Hermione believed him now. "Come on Zim! He was jinxing Harry's broom!" insisted Hermione. "The mighty Zim will believe it when he see's it!" was Zim's response.

"Mails here!" Owls swooped in through the windows carrying letters and items, A owl dropped a letter for Zim, one for Ron, one for Hermione, and one for harry. "Whats this?". Zim opened up the letter

_Dear Zim_

_Want to come over to my hut for some tea and snacks? Meet me after class's if you decide to come_

_Hagrid_

Zim looked at his letter then at Harry, who had gotten the same letter, "Cool! We can ask Hagrid about that dog! He knows all about animals!" Zim face palmed, did this human ever give up? "Come on!"

After all the class the 4 meet up, Ron was upset about the potion's homework and about Hermione not letting him copy hers. "Dont want to keep hagrid waiting do we?" Harry whispered. "Nope, i want to ask him something to be truthful" Ron said while looking at Zim. "You? Bet its not about school work" Hermione laughed. "Har har har, well come on!"

At hagrids hut, Harry knocked at the door, they were sneaking out, if caught they could and would get in a lot of trouble. A whole lot of barking started followed by "Down Fang,down!" the door opened and revealed Hagrid. "Glad you could make it" he said in a cheerful voice. "Thanks for the invite" Hermione said, the 4 stepped in. "Hagrid...whats that?" Harry asked, pointing at the fire, Zim turned to look, there was something big and clack. "Hagrid! Is that a dragons egg?" Hermione asked in a tone of slight panic. "Yes it is, isn't it beautiful?"

"Hagrid! Those things are illegal! Where in the world did you get it?"

"A man gave it to me!"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but something else beat her to it

'CRACK!'

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><p><strong>You know the rules ^^ No update tell new reviews!<strong>


	5. A VERY short chapter

**Disclaimer- I do not own Invader zim or Harry Potter!**

**Hello! And i am not dead, just sick and lazy xD I listened to the song 'monster' (remix) by meg and i thought 'this song would fit zim' im tempted to make a video but don't have the time, maybe one of you could do it?**

**To answer the question of why zim killed the troll, it was because he did not want it to come concuss when their (or more HIS) back was turned**

**Thanks Invader Shadow!**

**Thanks to all my fans! *hears crickets* forever alone ;_;**

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><p>Zim watched as the dragon cracked out of shell and wasn't impressed. From what he read on dragons they were surrposed to be huge! Not this tiny little thing!<p>

"Isn't it beautiful?" Hagrid said, he out his hand out and the thing walked up to it, and started to rub its head on the hand "Look! It knows its mommy!" Hermione looked at the dragon with shock on her face 'Hagrid...you live in a wooden hut, dragons breathe fire" Hagrid thought about it for a moment then answered

"Well I...umm"

Hermione looked smugged at the fact hagrid couldn't to the question. "See hagrid! A dragon is a terrible pet!" and as if wanting to prove Hermione's point, the dragon sneezed, sending a small flame onto Hagrid's beard. He quickly patted it out. Silence followed tell Ron spoke up. "Hagrid...i want to ask you a question...What type of animal has green skin, red eyes, and 2 black antennas?" Zim felt a bit of panic, what if this hagrid guessed alien? Zim thought the best this worm could do is guess but all it could take was a guess...Zim shuddered as he thought of himself strapped down onto a table waiting to be dissected. "Hmm thats a tricky...cant say i have ever heard of something like that, sorry ron" Hagrid answered. "Ron, why would you ask that?" Harry asked after being silent. "I think i had a close encounter with something like that" Ron said, his eyes darting to Zim. "Well back to the matter, Hag-" Hermione stopped, shock on her face as she looked at the window. "What?" Hagrid said then turned to follow Hermiones gaze. "Oh dear." There was Draco, peeking through the window. When he saw that he had been caught he turned tail and ran. "You better hurry, maybe you might make it"

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><p><strong>Whats with the very short chapter? Well i wanted to let you know the story is NOT dead, just..i have been busy...no update tell review though ^^ that still applys<strong>


	6. Lost and found

**Thanks! sorry if i make a few mistakes, i havnt read the books in a while xD**

**So you think Tak should show up? I planned on her too, also maybe Dib...but the question for me is...when and how?**

**I have decided that after this series, my next zim cross over will be...SPIDER-MAN!**

**Thanks invader Nat! And also thanks Leafeon**

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><p>"Come on Gaz! you got to believe me! Zim's planning something! And i wont be there to stop him!" "Or he went home, now shut up, your voice is giving me a headache" Gaz said from the table, she was busy plating her Gameslave, Dib though was pacing, why would Zim leave like that? Maybe his leaders called him back? no...Zim was still on earth, he could feel it! "Im going to find him Gaz, and when i do! The whole world will see his true form!" "Shut up" Dib flinched when he realized she would hurt him if he didn't. So he did the next best thing, he went to his room to plan.<p>

"I am very disappointed in you" McGonagall said at the 4 kids, Draco stood in the back corner, seemingly sucking in the misfortune. "All 5 of you will be serving detention" Draco smiled then stopped, he had heard 5... Harry, Ron, and Zim perked up when the realized what was gonna happen. "Excuse me, i thought you said 5..." "Even though you weren't out for selfish reasons you were still out, and so you also must be punished. Speak to Flitch about your detention" Draco had a look of shock on his face, Zim had one of horror realizing that it would be WORSE then the nails of DOOM! "Well this sucks" Ron spoke up

"I miss the old punishments, chain you up from the toes, let you wait a few days, i still have the chains and i oil them up just in case" Flitch said as he lead Harry,Ron,Hermione, Zim, and stink-boy Draco towards the forbidden forest. "We cant go in there! Its against the rules!" Draco stutter in near panic. "Like I care" Flitch grunted. After a while of walking, they saw Hagrid and his dog, Fang, waiting for them. "Here they are Hagrid." Flitch said. "Thanks" Flitch turned and left, leaving the kids to Hagrid. "What are we doing?" Harry spoke up

"Unicorns, something been killing them, we are going to find some, if they are near death...put them out of their misery" Hagrid said, with a sad tone. "Tell me what a unicorn is! TELL ME! TELL ME!" Zim yelled! "Yep, a mud-blood" Draco spat. "No talking like that around me Draco" Hagrid said. They started toward the forest. "We'll split up, Zim, Harry, and Draco go right. me, Ron, and Hermione go left" Draco looked at Harry and Zim then spoke up. "Alright...but we get fang!" "Sure, that cowards not going to help though"

Draco opened his mouth to replay but Zim spoke up "Lets go Stink-boy" Zim said then turned, Harry followed, not wanting to be left alone Draco followed, muttering. At first all seemed well, creepy but well...then it all went wrong...

"Ow!" Zim looked at harry, who was gripping his forehead. Fang started to bark, The 3 turned to see what he was yapping at and regretted it a second later, there was a dead unicorn, and there, drinking its blood like a sick vampire that dip would have loved to stack through the heart, was something. Draco screamed like a little girl and ran, fang followed but Zim and Harry were rotted to the spot. Now irkens were trained not to run. But Zim is a defect and defects sometimes think out of training. A voice in Zims head said 1 word...Run... "Run" Zim said under his breath...the creature noticed they were they, it slowly got up and...Zim didnt stay to find out. He ran, after a while he used his spider legs to cover more ground. Only after he was hopelessly lost did he stop. "FLITHY PLANET!" Zim yelled at nothing. HE had to find something to blame and this time it was the planet itself. He could and would never tell the tallest that he ran, why had he done it? It was a dishonour! He looked around him. "GIR!" nothing...he was alone

Zim wandered around, cursing everything except himself. What would he do? Stuck in this forest...stupid stinky-boy for getting him into this mess. Zim wasn't scared of being alone, he was scared of that monster but as soon as the threat passed, Zim refused to accept he, the might ZIM! Had been scared. He convinced himself that he would have been easily beaten that monster if he had wanted too. It was still dark, but then again, it appeared it was always dark here. Thankfully, Irkens had very good 'night' vision. Zim looked around him, it looked like he may miss class. Thankfully again irkens didnt need sleep, they could if they wanted to though. Zim could spend the whole day searching if he wanted too.

Or needed too

"Zim!" Zim looked around him, he swore he had heard his name. "Zim?" there it was again, only it sounded farther away. Zim knew the voice belonged to hagrid... "OVER HERE YOU MONKEY!" zim yelled, he was mad at everyone, like we pointed out, zim blamed everyone for his misfortune, except himself..."There you are Zim! You gave us a scare" Hagrid said after emerging from a bush. "YOU CAUSED THIS!" Zim screeched. "Hey! It was you who ran wasn't it?" Zim looked at Hagrid then "YOU LIE!" Hagrid looked confused then shrugged "Come on!"

"What happened?" Hermione asked both Zim and Harry. Zim had found out that the creature was a evil wizard, his name was like 'Lord MoldyButt?' he wasn't sure, no one would say his name. Harry had been saved by a pony-man. When they found out Zim was missing they freaked. Proof was when Hagrid took Zim back to his 'friends'. Zim had been hugged only a couple of times, it was awkward..."Zim just walked!" he repeated himself. Thankfully Harry didnt seem mad at Zim running on him. And with Ron acting like Dib-filtch, that was the last thing he needed.

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><p><strong>Any mistakes? Did you like it? Ideas?<strong>

**Please review ^^**

**And if you want an update then you have too xD**


	7. A rock?

**Welcome back to the amazing 'This cant be right!'**

**Warning, through out the years (the story's years! Not ours...hopefully), it may get darker!**

**Hey guy :p thanks for the reviews! Life's been busy but i manege to squeeze you guys in ^^ The lord MoldyButt is a ref to the show 'The grim adventures of Billy and Mandy' :p i wanted to see if anybody noticed :)**

**I think that Ron couldn't guess due to him being in a wizard family. So instead of space and stuff they would be looking at magical creatures...But Hermione is a different story so you will have to wait and see **

**I'm re-reading the harry potter books just for you :) SO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT!**

**I don't like this chapter, but it plays a key element.**

**Cheek out my poll! *pokes profile***

**I don't own IZ or HP**

Not many things entered that deep into the forest. The ones that did were either very strong and brave or were lost. He was leaning toward lost with this green creature. Now...Who was 'he'? Well only a few knew 'What' he is. He was a Miclak. The were medium sized creatures with long bodies, legs, and a tail. It had short, shiny black hair. Its head was like a dogs only a longer snout and its ears were up and longer...like a rabbit! It had watched the green creature with interest, that was saying a lot. Miclaks lived thousands of years. This one was 7150 years, and though out those years many wars had come and gone. The war that was happening didn't concern him so planned on he staying out. But this thing. It clearly wasn't human, it smelled...like metal and something he hadn't ever smelled before. He followed the green thing for a while. He was about to make himself known when "Zim!" Zim...so that's what the creatures name was...The Miclak watched as the grounds keeper and the creature left...This war may be of interest as of yet.

"Zim! I have an idea of whats going on?" Hermione whispered to Zim as the 4 hurried to class. "Hmm yes, yes that's fascinating" "What is it Hermione?" Harry asked. "Ill tell you after class in the library!" Zim sighed. 'Come on! We're late for class!" They had flying...Zim wasn't the best flier, but he was decent once you made him get on the broom (He kept refusing to get on inferior equipment). Harry still flew only he did it from a distance since he was far ahead. "Now halt"

"Man, that flying was boring!" Ron complained as he, Harry, and Zim went to meet Hermione in the library. Zim was getting feed up with this guy, he was as bad as Dib-Filch. "So Harry, You remember seeing ... you know who drinking the unicorns blood" Harry nodded "Well, Having your life supported by blood isn't a good life now is it?" "Unless your a vampire" Ron chirped in. "Or yes that, anyway...wouldn't it be easier if you found an item to make you immortal?" "Yeah" "Now put 2 to 2 together, the door, snape, you know who..." Harrys eyes widened as he saw what it meant. "So the dog is guarding something that can make someone immortal, and Snape's trying to get it too bring it to Voldemort!" Harry whispered, Hermione nodded. "Harry! Dont say his name!" Run hushed. "Oh sorry" So moldybutts name was really Voldemort...Zim sighed. "So what can make someone immortal" Rin asked. "I did some research" Of coarse you did Hermione thought zim "And 2 items came up...the blood of a dragon mized with a unicorns blood and the brains of a troll that was mixed under a blue moon" Ron looked disgusted. "Happens more then you think...and the other one...something called 'The Philosopher's Stone'

**YES! Im still alive! Im going to a camp for 3 days though and im busy also :/ But ill try to be faster! I promise!**

**Trick or review!**


	8. Message

Zim looked at the writing under neath this

**OK guys! I got some bad news :/ This story going to be put on hold for the rest of the summer :( im sorry! But i have my reasons, but i should be able to do something else, so check out that story. This story will be completed! I promise you! And the whole series also! But for now...sorry!**


	9. Message! :D

Zim laughed at how awesome he was then looked down

**I'm back! Updates should be up soon, i will delete this message and the one before this after its up ^^ Thanks to my loyal readers and new ones too!**

**looks back **

**So many...grammar...mistakes ;_;**


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